Collectibles
by Blue Deity
Summary: An examination of Edgeworth's fanboy qualities.


**Disclaimer:** I don not won the Ace Attorney Series or any of its characters, all elements belong to Capcom.

**Notes:** Something I thought up when rummaging through my local feel market, thought it would be fun and easy to write, so here it is.

_**Collectibles**_

Miles Edgeworth sat with his legs crossed outside the courthouse, reading a simple newspaper to while away some time before the inevitable time came to go back to his office and the tediousness of filing papers and putting the final stamp upon this latest loss.

"C'mon Nick, we gotta get going, or we're gonna miss it." Edgeworth's refined ears quickly picked up the familiar sound of Wright's plucky assistant coming from the main doors behind them.

"Geez, Maya, just give me a couple of minutes will you?" Edgeworth looked over his shoulder to find the petite 'spirit channeler' attempting to pull Wright's shoulder from its socket, her latest attempt to get him to take her somewhere or buy her something no doubt, how a man could be so thoroughly whipped by someone who wasn't even his wife was quite beyond him. "You dragged me out of the courtroom so quick I never had a chance to grab my briefcase." Wright took his hand away from hers and straightened his tie. Ms. Fey grinned .

"Well, hurry up then Old Man!" She stuck her tongue out at him and grabbed his wrist again. "We **ne-eee-eed **get down there A.S.A.P, you know." She whined, shaking his arm.

"Alright, alright. I'll only be a second." Wright sighed and went back into the courtroom. Ms. Fey sat down on the steps to wait, her legs nearly vibrating with her excitement. She was looking even more energetic than usual. Edgeworth stood from the bench and walked over to her.

"Good afternoon ." He greeted with his usual smirk.

"Oh, hey Mr. Edgeworth!" Ms. Fey chirped. "Nick sure kicked your butt today didn't he." She was beaming. As Edgeworth recalled, Wright had needed all the help he could get, from _everyone _in the courtroom, himself included, nothing unusual. Edgeworth politely cleared his throat.

"Yes well..." Why shatter the girl's delusions about her knight in blue armour. "I wanted to ask you what is so important for you to attend that you were seemingly willing to toss Wright off the courthouse stairs?"

"Oh-Oh-Oh!" The girl was bouncing. It must be something big."There's this big, big, **BIG **flea market...sale...thing going at the Staple Centre today." She exclaimed, jumping up and spreading her arms so he could see just how 'big' this sale is. "A lot of big Steel Samurai guys are going to be there, and they're gonna be selling alot of collector's stuff, I wanna see if I can get a few of the cards I'm missing!" She smiled. Edgeworth's heart palpitated, he hadn't heard of this, then again the girl did have far more free time to keep tabs on the more prominent members of Global Studios fandom than he did, Wright ran a very loose ship.

"R-Really?" He managed to stammer, his mouth drying in his own growing excitement. "W-Well, Ms. Fey, I bid you adieu, I have matters to attend to." He gave a cordial bow and began scaling the stairs back to courthouse.

"Okay Mr. Edgeworth, see you there!" Ms. Fey called from behind him, he felt a cold chill down his spine, but upon realising that there was no one who could have heard the original part of their conversation, soon regained his composure.

* * *

After gathering his personal affects, Edgeworth was nearly sprinting across the parking lot to his car. Ms. Fey had been correct, time truly was of the essence, if he hoped to acquire what it was he was seeking. He was just about to open his door, when an all too-familiar cracking sound filled the air of the underground garage. Without turning around he knew he had been found out.

"Hello sister." He smiled.

"Miles Edgeworth, where in the world are **you **skulking off to like a foolish thief in the night?" Franziska demanded, her posture perfect, her air icy, her whip dangerously dangling at her side.

"If you must know, there is something I wish to do, so, I am going to go do it." He answered simply.

"Oh really." She said, her voice filled with suspicion. "And what is so important that you need to leave right now, need I remind you that **we** still have a lot of work to do today."

"I shall only be gone for a little while, then I shall return." Franziska's eyebrow arched and she crossed her arms.

"I shall be accompanying you." She announced.

"No, you will not, this is none of your concern sister." He replied, he was of course, met with a crack of her whip that he barely avoided.

"Yes, I **will**, fool." Defeated, for the second time that day, Edgeworth just sighed and opened the passenger side door for her.

"Very well sister, just do not get angry when you see where it is we are going."

* * *

Stepping inside the Staple Centre, and ignoring the complaints coming from his sister as to how 'he had dragged her to a den of fools,' Edgeworth scanned the area, he saw people dressed in odd costumes, children and adults talking about episodes and, out of the corner of his eye, Wright being dragged around by his assistant, once again, nothing unusual. Soon found the man he was looking for, he was an odd looking sort, not unlike that Sal Manella character he had been forced to associate with during Will Powers' murder case, it still boggled Edgeworth's mind that such a man could produce something so wonderful. On the table in front of him, were several Steel Samurai PVCs and action figures, yes, this was what he was here for. With a fuming Franziska following behind him, Edgeworth went up to the man's table and he saw them, the tree figures he had been looking for now for so long: the eight inch Samurai with the die-cast mask, the fourteen inch super deluxe Samurai that was designed with **sixteen** points of articulation, and the promotional 'number zero' Pink Princess that was given a limited release as part of the promotion for the beginning of the new show. Edgeworth had failed in procuring one for his collection because he had been incarcerated during the limited time they were available. Damn Yogi, damn Hammond, damn von Karma! All three were in their original packaging and were in mint condition, they were also some of the hardest to get as he had been looking online now for quite a while with very little luck. Edgeworth's heart was racing so much that it's beating was causing his cravat to jostle on his chest. But he had to compose himself, luckily, there were not many people around this man, so he didn't have to let on how desperate he was to complete his collection.

"Th-these three, how much?" He asked trying to keep his composure. The man looked at the figures his potential customer was interested in and without missing a beat:

"A hundred and seventy-five."

"Wh-what?" He reared back.

"We should leave now brother." Franziska said. Edgeworth ignored her, he could certainly afford to pay the price the man was asking, but to do so would be outlandish. Perhaps a little haggling was in order.

"My friend." He began, crossing his arms and impatiently tapping his finger. "I can tell you that theses figures are certainly not worth that much."

"Yes they are." He answered back simply.

"Listen, I am willing to pay you seventy-five percent of the outrageous price you are asking." Edgeworth said. "I highly doubt you will get a better offer."

"Sorry 'friend." The man said with an undeniable hint of sarcasm. "But my prices aren't negotiable. I had to go through an awful lot to get my hands on these. They're really rare you know?" Of course he knew, he knew all too well, imbecile! Quickly though, he formulated a plan, he could not be certain it would work, but it was worth a try. Snatching a smaller figure of a super deformed Steel Samurai,, he held it up to the man.

"I was trying to be nice because you seem like a nice enough fellow, I was going to give you the money and ignore the **crime** you are committing."

"Cr-Crime, what crime?" The man exclaimed.

"You see this figure, the _real _Samurai minis were all produced within a month of each other using the same mould which was then destroyed. However _this _example has a _very _different nose than all others. You my friend are selling bootlegs of copyrighted materials, and that is a crime." He pointed accusingly at the man. Success, judging from the look on his face, he was buying it. It was of course an utter bluff, Edgeworth would never buy his Steel Samurai merchandise from a bootlegger. "Do you know who I am, I am the famous Demon Prosecutor, I could see you spend the rest of your natural life in jail for this." Edgeworth glared at him, he could tell the man was cracking under his powerful gaze as sweat was pouring from his face.

"O-Okay man, t-take 'em seventy-five percent, the three of em's yours." Edgeworth happily handed over the money and took his prizes.

"Thank you very much." Barely able to contain his grin, he triumphantly marched through the Staple Centre.

"Can we please leave now Miles Edgeworth." Franziksa huffed.

"Oh sister." He chuckled. "When will you ever grow up?"

"Says the nearly thirty year old man who still plays with dolls." She grunted.

"**Action Figures **Franziksa, action figures." He corrected her.

"Tomato/Tomahto my foolish brother."

**END**


End file.
